Every human
wants to be part of a happy and loving family where they feel safe and
confident. We do our best to maintain that our families possess these qualities
so our lives can be stable lives. However, our actions can affect the way our
families function leading it to crumble and weaken, even if you are aiming to
keep it intact. Many of our actions can affect us and our daily lives and that
is why we have to take responsibility for our actions if we want our marriages
and family be what we want it to be. Many actions of ours can affect us and
here are some that do:
1) Wasting our time looking at others
This is something we can
all relate to, whether we do it once or it was become our daily habit, we have
a tendency to look at other’s lives. Looking at others’ lives can have negative
impacts on us because the time we should be spending time on our lives, we
allocate it to wondering and looking up the latest news about someone else.
This limits our thankfulness for the things in our lives and one of them being
our family life. We believe that so and so has a better family life than us and
we begin to envy them and wish why our lives are not like that. We also follow
other aspects of people’s lives that do not concern us while we could spend the
time trying to fix what’s wrong with ours. If your family life is not what you
want it to be then you should spend the time trying to fix what’s wrong and the
person whose life you are looking at will tell you that they have and continue
to put hard-work to make their family life what it is.
Sometimes there is
nothing wrong with your marriage and family life but we are comparing our lives
to others.
When we compare our lives
to others in any aspect, not just marriage and family, we begin to see
ourselves inferior because we see that they have something we do not and this
is what creates disappointment to us and creates envy towards that individual. We
have to avoid comparing our lives to others because there tings in our
marriages and family life that the other does not possess. People are different
so each marriage and family is different due to this, if you compare your life
to others, you still will not be able to achieve what they have. The aim is to embrace
your life and make it what you think is best for you because the life you are
looking at and trying to be like is not your style. That is why we have to
focus on creating our own style on what our marriage and family life is to look
like.
2) Think before you talk
When we say something, it
can have a negative effect on another. We believe we have the right to express
ourselves and say what we want but if it is nice and funny for us, it is pain
and embarrassment for another. Everyone has an individual life and we are not
commentators on other’s lives as it is not ours. What we say can effect and
scar the person or people we entertain ourselves by talking about. Words cause
damages that can never be reversed, people may forgive but will not forget as
your words have left a mark on their life and well-being and when it comes to
marriage and family life we have to be careful. That is why we have to watch
our words when we talk about other’s lives because they may be happy with the
way their life is. We are told:
‘And do not pursue that
of which you have no knowledge. Indeed, the hearing, the sight and the heart -
about all those [one] will be questioned’. (19:36)
This tells us that we
have no right to interfere with matters and issues that do not concern us and
that everything our bodies engage in that has to do with this will be
questioned.
However, you may interfere
if you wish to give sincere advice if you think something is wrong and keep it
between the both of you, not go around and tell people about what happened
between you. Even when we give advice we leave it at that and hope the
individual takes the advice we give them and wish them the best.
Interfering with people’s
affairs can affect us as we waste time looking up the latest story about them
and we become addicted to it till we lose track of our lives. If we want our
lives to be what we want it to be then we have to spend forever in maintaining
it, if we turn away for the slightest second, things will go wrong.
3) Giving commitment
One of the major reasons
people get into marriage disputes is the question on who pays more commitment into
the marriage. In a marriage, commitment must come from both ends of the coin, if
one is only paying commitment then the marriage won’t thrive. It’s like trying
to walk with one leg, obviously you’re going to get to your distance in double
the time. Marriage commitment is like two legs, you need both to work together
to walk and a marriage needs the same thing. Sometimes it’s not that the person
paying half the commitment is selfish and does not care, it’s because some people
feel like they do a lot already and as long as they see you are fine and happy,
they feel you are comfortable and don’t need help. However, as people we should
be conscious of those around us, not just for marriage but for all things so
we can easily understand what people are going through and in a marriage this
is important. You both need to know each other’s needs and commit to helping
them at their time of need for whatever reason it may be. Your spouse will see
that you are committed to your marriage and that they mean something to you.
Comments
Post a Comment