Enjoy being a family

We are all part of a family and at the same time we are not. We are physically part of a family as we have a mum, dad, brother, sister and spouse but we are emotionally estranged from them. Mothers and fathers have become estranged to their children and the children to their parents. Spouses are apart too and spend little to no time together. Thus the family unit is deprived from one another and know little to nothing about each other. The question that emerges here is, are we a family and what does being a family mean if this is the way we live.

A family is a unit that are connected, what happens to one effects the rest and always motivate and care for one another. Today, in our households that is not the case, there is complete neglect of the biggest family rule, spending time together. 

We are all secluded in our own bubble with kids doing their thing and parents doing their own individual thing. The advent of technology was only created widened the gap that was created between the family.

This leads to a number of dangers that are advent in our lives. One we can't tolerate one another; we are so used to being apart that being close seems so weird. Kids want to be around their friends on social media and what they do, spending time with you seems so weird because it never happens and they are not accustomed to it and the same goes for the mother and father. Two not knowing nothing about each especially between parents and kids mean that we do not know the issues and problems they are facing. We see them as healthy and doing well but they may be hiding a mountain of problems. As parents we automatically expect that are kids are connected to us and will tell us their problems but no they won't. You are like a stranger in their life with the only connection between you is living under the same roof. People tell their problems to people they know inside out, understand and trust, and unfortunately you and them do not share these connections due your estrangement.

With this occurring, how can we make our family life enjoyable with those in our family. Yes, the obvious is spend time with each other, but how can you your family relationship is at zero. The answer is you have to build it brick by brick and first understand what went wrong and how you are going to fix it. Firstly, we have to understand that fixing something takes time and will not happen at one go, we have to keep patient and work towards it and only then can we start to see success just as Allah says:

‘And that there is not for man except that for which he strives’ (53)

This means that we have to strive to build the communication and time we want to have as a family. We have to make sure that we create a schedule where we sit together and talk about each other’s favourite hobbies, food, dreams they want to achieve etc.

We also have to keep at it and not do it when we feel like it, we should also maintain to keep at it even if we see it is not working and the way we planned it to be. Nothing happens in the first day, week or month, things take time and as long as we are sincere towards our goal we will achieve it.

Remember also that you are doing this to create the fruits of being a family, family is about spending time and knowing each other inside out as if you were looking at yourself and that is what you want. We all want to have a long-lasting family relationship but that can only happen if we are there for each other when someone is down or congratulate them on their success and that only occurs by enjoying time with each other. The more people spend time together the more they open up whether they are willing to or not and this is needed in a family if we are going to be what a real family is, not a family because we are. then can we only enjoy each other as a family.