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Conciliation between Husband and wife
Everyone wants to have a family that lives problem free, a family that can live in harmony and have a clear understanding. However, at times there are matters that lead to a misunderstanding between family members which depending on the situation can lead to disputes. No family wants to have disputes in their households because disputes can lead to further misunderstanding and arguments.
The question that lies here is how can we solve these misunderstandings to keep our families harmonious. In Islam we are told to solve our misunderstandings in a peaceful and proper manner. Islam does not allow families to scream, yell and slam doors in each other’s faces. Rather it promotes us to handle matters in a proficient manner just as the prophet (S.A.W) in Hadith number 17 of the Forty Hadith,   
   إن الله كتب الاحسان على كل شيء
Allah has prescribed proficiency in all things
This means that everything that we do has to be done in a perfect manner, that includes how we desire to solve our misunderstandings and disputes. Islam promotes having a meeting or Shura where both family members in dispute settle their affairs in the most peaceful manner possible. As Muslim we ordered to do Shura each time we want to make an idea or plan Just as Allah said to the prophet (S.A.W) that he should do Shura with his companions each time something happened as he says:    
          وشاورهم في الأمر
And consult them in the affairs

This idea of Shura helps families in regard to settle their misunderstandings in hopes of keeping the family relationship solid. In these matters of conciliation every section of the family has rights to state what they think about a particular issue or matter, if the Shura is between parents and their children, children are allowed to voice what concerns they have openly just as much as the parents can. If it is between a husband and wife, the wife is allowed to voice her concerns in an equal manner as the husband. Shura does not give special considerations to any person of the family, then off course it is not Shura, if the prophet was told to include his companions in Shura then certainly we must do the same thing.

After each side states their issue’s, they must create a medium from ideas placed from both sides to create a full solution, a Shura is not about proving someone wrong and stating your ideas as the correct one, this leads to further disputes as both sides may have part of the correct answer to the problem. However, if both sides happen to not reach a solid conclusion, family members are allowed to intervene to help the family solve their misunderstandings as Allah said in the Quran:

فابعثوا حكماً من اهله وحكما من اهلها
Appoint mediators from his family and her family

Image result for beautiful flowers
If there is true love then misunderstandings would not take long to solve

However, these family members must be able to create peace and not take sides and criticise the other side of the family as the problem or problem creators. Their role is to listen to both sides and create a solution to the problem, that is why these family members must be the most honest and most trustworthy and not any random family member. However, it is up to both the husband and wife to decide if they do want their family members to intervene or not and that they would love to create peace on their own.

Whatever decision they make, they should make sure to let go of their ego and consider each other’s ideas and thoughts on the opinion. If they are both sincere they will reach a solution, however if they are not then the road for reconciliation will be hard and difficult. If there is true care, love and understanding then there would be no need for misunderstanding but if there is things will go smooth and always remember that whatever decision you both take remember can be positive or negative so always make sure to consider the other before making a decision.



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